Money, Retrospection of my goal, and a middlefinger to life

I want to be like Nicolas Cage. The guy is not the most attractive, not the wisest person you would trust to keep a bank account, but he sure as hell had a blast. 

Earlier this year I foolishly thought I could achieve happiness with a mere 100k USD made with my own hand. I was fucking wrong. 

I need to remind myself that at one time in my life, I was aiming to become a programmer who can do nothing but learn because I fucking wanted to. Have a coffee machine in an AC room because I fucking can. Now materially, I have them all. But mentally, I have got to pull thru. Tomorrow is a new day. I need to continue the toil because Tennyson told me to seek, to strive, to find, and not to yield.