I was about to drown in Debussy, but then I remembered I owed my roommate a happy blog, so here we are.
It was a night on the balcony, drunk. When I realised that happiness exists for me, even in adversity. Happy things. remember... Happy things only.
So tonight I was torn apart by insufficient nicotine, completely sober, and sexually deprived, yet overdue in my French homework. After 6-8 months (couldn't remember) without RTX 4090, I found myself playing Civilisation V. I have come to realise why people call that game addictive. Having sucked in any online games, I took my time in reading the tutorial. Afternoon flew past, I didn't even bother to stand up and smoke. It was about conquering the hexagons roleplaying Oda Nobunaga. Why haven't I discovered this earlier when it has been sleeping in my library for more than 4 years?
As I took a 12 am shower, how very un-American of me, I found myself struck with post-nut-like mental clarity. Perhaps the 28-degree weather has finally breathed some sense into the daily ordeal of hair-drying and tartiner expensive shiseido moisturiser onto my face, that I've recently tried to maintain with certain futility.
So as I conjure this post in the darkness, the decision has become simple, to achieve celestial revelation through nuking Kuala Lumpur, or to actually show up in class tomorrow, maintaining that same clarity in front of a very sexy french professor.
I think I will indulge myself with 50 more turns and then sleep, completely abandoning my lost cause to read Baudelaire instead of this godforsaken game which I should be ashamed of playing, and hopefully not resulting in the "one more win and I will sleep" mentality. Although, should I rather be worrying about something else, such as, how to suffer more poetically in another language, where I don't look like a complete fool for the great soul that I have but unable to confide? ... ... Putain, C'est la Merde, I'm too simp for that, I need to destroy Queen Elisabeth I.
Oh wretched faith...
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